In Her Own Way
by DxCxS2
Summary: "You really loved him didn't you?" Heather spits out. Courtney only nods. They're silent for a few minutes. Heather starts to digest Courtney's nod. She never said it, but she loved him. She loved him." Heather speaks with Courtney at the start of TDROTI and finds herself feeling angrier than she expected. Takes place after 'The Difference'. Two-shot.


**So, this is a story that takes place after my other story 'The Difference' which was Gwen dealing with the results of the love triangle, and speaking with Duncan and Heather.**

**This takes place after we see the old cast in the first episode of Total Drama Revenge of the Island on the boat.**

Heather is walking across the boat to her room. She had just said good night to Alejandro, even though they weren't going to sleep. Alejandro had just went up for his daily physical therapy. It's not today, but Heather knows that eventually he'll be out of that robot suit, and back on his legs.

She could be upstairs dining with the rest of the cast, but she'd rather not be. She's really not in the mood to mix and mingle. That's when Heather sees Bridgette heading up to the deck. She shrugs it off, and tries to remember what room she's in. Three something. Three fourteen?

The door is unlocked when she opens it, but it's not her room. Courtney is sitting on her bed, with a book.

"Really Bridgette I'm fine I just have a lot to d-" Courtney says before glancing up. Her eyes widen when she sees Heather. "Oh Heather, what are you doing down here?"

"What are you doing down here?" Heather retorts "Everyone is having dinner up on deck."

"Seeing as you and I are both here-" Courtney begins, but Heather shakes her head.

"Yeah no need to get technical" she says as she shuts the door behind her. She moves in slowly not wanting to rush in on Courtney, but the room is small and in a few moments she's sitting down on the bed next to Courtney. She isn't completely sure why she continued walking in, but she knows that Courtney is lying.

"So where's Alejerko?" Courtney asks, and Heather let's the comment slide. He did try and use Courtney when she was at her…most vulnerable.

"Physical therapy" Heather responds, and Courtney's eyes soften slightly. But in a few moments she's hard again. "And I wasn't in the mood to eat and pretend to be friends with everyone. Not that I was planning on doing that, but-"

"No I get it" Courtney agrees, letting out a deep sigh "Everyone sitting up there pretending like there's nothing wrong…" She closes her eyes for a moment, leaning back into the wall. "Sorry I didn't mean- about Alejan-"

"Oh don't worry about it. He can be a jerk sometimes" Heather says, not wanting Courtney to feel too bad for her cyborg boyfriend, and thinking about him she can't help but smile softly. There's a long silence. The room is tense.

"You know I never really like Alejandro, right?" Courtney tells Heather.

"I wasn't sure, but after the show I didn't think so" Heather replies. Courtney nods.

"He was just there, and I wanted-" Courtney pauses "I thought that, maybe if I made it look like I liked him enough, if I smiled and laughed enough- that maybe" Courtney's eyes are tearing up now. "Maybe he'd want me again. Maybe he'd remember how he felt about me. Like when I used Justin, I thought maybe- He'd fight for me again." There are silent tears running down Courtney's face. It different than the loud cries through out the rest of the World Tour, and more like the first time she cried to Heather. Tears that came because she had given up, because she was at a loss. And so once again, filled with discomfort, Heather attempts to comfort Courtney, patting her softly on the back.

"I'm sorry I used Alejandro" Courtney mumbles.

"That's fine" Heather replies, more than able to understand using a person as a mean to an end "He used you too." Courtney continues to silently cry, and Heather realizes it may not have been the best thing to say. It's strange to see Courtney so, broken, still. And something passes over Heather.

"You really loved him didn't you?" Heather spits out. Courtney only nods. They're silent for a few minutes. Heather starts to digest Courtney's nod. She never said it, but she loved him. She loved him.

"You tell yourself" she says, not bothering to look up, staring down at her knees "Don't trust anybody, but then, you open up your heart, and you think- You aren't ready for them to crush it, but you know you're stupid, because something in you knew they would." Courtney clenched her fists. "I never wanted to be like this!" she shouts as she hurls her book across the room, sending it crashing into the wall. She's breathing heavily now, her fists shaking, and then suddenly she stops and sits down on the bed.

Heather is taken aback, but she holds it together. "And now he loves her…" Courtney says softly, no more tears, no more throwing. Quiet.

"Courtney" Heather says, but Courtney doesn't turn to face her. "I know people, I know these losers especially more than anyone else. And I've seen Duncan over the years. He's loved you, but he's never loved Gwen." Heather thinks this will comfort her, but Courtney eyes fill with rage. "And even though he doesn't show it I think he'll alway-"

"I don't want that!" she shouts "Don't tell me lies! I know what I did, I know what I am! We aren't together because of me, because I can't keep my shit together! I know everything that's wrong with me, and you can pat me on the back, but don't" tears filled Courtney's eyes "Don't…" and Courtney sits down sobbing again.

This time Heather says nothing. Instead she puts her arm around Courtney and let's her cry. Because that's all she can do. Well, she can help, in her own way. It's strange, helping someone, but she wants to do it.

Suddenly Courtney takes in a deep breath, and wipes beneath her eyes. "I'm sorry Heather, I need to excuse myself" she says getting up. "You should go get something to eat."

Courtney disappears into the bathroom and Heather clenches her fists. She's never really been friends with Courtney, in fact she's never really been friends with everyone, but there's something so wrong about this Heather can't help but feel her stomach twist.

She's done bad things, she's tortured people, but she's always known what she's done was wrong, and so has everyone else. Everyone treating this, she glances to the bathroom door, this as right, as nothing, it was…alarming.

Heather gets up to leave and sees the book lying on the ground. She picks it up. It's worn. She reads the cover "Much Ado About Nothing" she says under hear breath. Heather can't help but roll her eyes. Who reads Shakespeare when they were heartbroken.

She carries it to the bed, shocked by its ratty condition as she flips through the pages. On the last page is a note.

_Court,_

_ I did it. I read the whole thing, and annotated it for you (I looked up a couple of things on sparknotes) But isn't it the effort that counts Princess? Now I know why you hate when total drama idiots refer to us as 'Romeo and Juliet' because we are Benedick and Beatrice. So Happy Valentine's Day Courtney! 'I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes- and, moreover, I will go with the to thy uncles' I should correct that last part to 'tattoo parlor'. _

_ Duncan_

There's a heart before Duncan's name, and it makes Heather sick. This asshole. And there Courtney was, rereading the book he had annotated for her. Womanizer, Heather thinks to herself dropping the book onto the bed.

Heather feels herself become angrier, angrier with Duncan. And now, more than ever she wants to watch them burn. It rises up in her, that goth girl and that delinquent, committing wrongs as if they were right.

**Two things to address, the note and Heather, but I'll start with Heather.**

**I've always felt, that while Heather has basically done the worst things on the show, she's always had the best moral compass. She knows what she is doing is wrong and chooses to do it anyway, but the fact of the matter is she knows it (unlike Gwen who struggles with it in the difference). I really wanted to show that, for Heather, it's not about being Courtney's best friend, or getting her into an alliance, but rather a heightened understanding of people, as well as right and wrong. What she is so distraught about is the fact that this is something she obviously understands as wrong (Gwen being Courtney's friend and cheating with her boyfriend, as well as Duncan cheating with his gf's friend) but isn't being treated as if it's wrong.**

**So it's not necessarily Heather the 'bff', or Heather the 'manipulative biznatch' but rather Heather the one who doesn't understand how this is happening (and has a bit of affection for Courtney)**

**So, Much Ado About Nothing is a play, and basically Benedick and Beatrice ARE Duncan and Courtney it's not even funny.**

**The quote he says, is romantic and yet perverse, I imagine him writing it with a smile. **

_I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes- and, moreover, I will go with the to thy uncles_

**Live in thy heart means he'll love her forever, and then when he says die in thy lap, it's some what of a pun, it means he will only be faithful to her until he dies, but he's playing with the word die, which also means to orgasm. I thought it was sweet, and it fit Duncan in that 'ogre' sort of way.**

**But yes, this is a two shot, so there will be one other chapter.**

**I hope you enjoyed it so far and please review!**


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